LGBT Pride And Me

 

What Does Pride Mean To Me

 

 

     Hey everyone! Happy Pride!!! I thought I'd do this post about what LGBT Pride means to me. Umm...yeah. Just as the title says. LOL!! And I'm hoping to have some friends share their thoughts as well. I hope you will enjoy it! So...let the rainbow shine and the glitter sparkle!!

 

     I guess the best way to start this is to tell you a bit about my coming out. Not just to others, but to myself as well. I started to really think about it when I was 16. That doesn't mean it didn't cross my mind before then because it certainly did. I just never really gave it a lot of thought. Hmm...this might be a good time to explain that I grew up on a U.S. military base in Germany. The subject of homosexuality was not talked about unless it was in a negative way. Being gay meant AIDS. And it meant being a less than human creature worthy only of jokes. Not the most accepting of places. Were they all like that? Of course not. There were some amazing people that accepted everyone regardless of whatever differences there might be. Anyway, back to the subject. My sexuality wasn't something I gave a lot of thought too. The reason I started to really focus on it was because I had just broken up with my latest girlfriend and couldn't get one of my father's soldiers out of my head. I was heartbroken a couple of years before when I found out he had a girlfriend and I was trying to figure out why. Why was I still hurt. And why my relationships with girls never really felt right. That's when it dawned on me. I was attracted to him. As I let that bounce around my head for a bit, I started to notice that I was attracted to other guys. That doing the things with my girlfriends that made me uncomfortable and giggle uncontrollably didn't leave me feeling that way when I thought of doing them with other guys. Yes. Giggle. I do giggle when I feel awkward. I'm not the only one, am I? OK, back to the story. And that's when I came to realize I am gay. It hasn't always been an easy journey. I ran back into the closet when a "friend" told me I was going to Hell and that it was wrong. That I was wrong. I didn't stay in there long. I came out for good a year later! :D

 

     Now that you have that rambling mess of a back story, let me tell you what Pride means to me. It's not just about showing everyone I'm proud to be gay. It's not the parades and parties. Don't get me wrong. Those are important. Very important. We need to let the world know we are who we are and that that's a great thing. But for me, it's also a chance to step back. To look at myself in the mirror and say, "I'm gay and I'm proud of myself!". You see, for a while I didn't think I would be here. I thought that something would happen and I'd get sick. Or that someone would come along and hurt me. I didn't think I would have a future. It never stopped me from coming out. I was just resigned to that being my fate. But I've learned a lot since then. I've seen how the world has changed for the positive. I've met many wonderful people who have shown me how wrong I was. Through education and exposure, I've learned that doesn't have to be my fate. So now, after having started this journey ???? years ago, I know I have a future. There is so much out there for me to see and experience. When I look in the mirror I'm proud of who I am. A happy gay man. That's what LGBT Pride means to me.

 

     So I hope you will join me in celebrating LGBT Pride this month. Not only by going out and making a statement, but by also looking in the mirror. Love you all!!! **HUGS**